Many Yoga practices end in Shavasana, corpse pose. Flat on your back, arms gently relaxed with the palms facing up, legs straight with the toes dropping out toward the sides. We allow the ground beneath us to support our bodies. It is the posture we will all eventually assume, either willingly or otherwise. Yogis call it the most precious posture.

I never end my practice in Shavasana. I feel that it is a waste of my time. Because I am no longer moving—no longer in control—it’s not worth it to me to rest in corpse pose.

Perhaps it’s not surprising that I also find prayer difficult. I can read scriptures. I can engage devotionals. I can talk theology till I’m blue in the face. But prayer, listening, submitting…those are so challenging that I almost never take the time to practice them.

Like prayer and devotion, Yoga is a practice. I grow and change as I practice, but I can’t master any of these things. That’s why they’re so frustrating for me. I can achieve reading through the Book of Esther. I can build the strength and balance to do a headstand (theoretically, of course). So I gain the illusion of mastery. I pat myself on the back, “Good job, girl. You’ve done it!” I’d be so silly to believe myself.